I really dont know how people do it. its so difficult.
Its like i know i am fine and i know that things won't be back to how it used to but i can't help but miss him sometimes. Like when people are talking about something or somewhere and i'll be like " ya i've been there. with him." and i realize i'm smiling as i recollect that piece of memory. and especially this new year's eve. When everyone is out with their partner and out counting down to the start of a new year and all i'm doing is trying not to think too much about how happy i was on the same day just a year ago. and sometimes i tell myself to be happy for him if he is happy now and to be happy for him if he finds someone who can love him for all that he is and that he will really love her back and they'd be happy but sometimes when i think about how bad my first relationship is, i just hope that he won't be happier than me. and other times, i just want to know what actually happened but sometimes i don't cause not knowing might be better. idk. and idk why i let myself write about this on the 3rd entry. *shrugs*
Today was alright. I went to work thn i went shopping with my dearest cousin. We bought alot and i'm quite satisfied. (: gonna watch 2 broke girls and slp cause there is work tmr. again. i've been reduced to a boring office nut.
NTS: renew passport, transfer money to savings acc and try not to talk about the past anymore.
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