words, they spread like wildfire.

today is a very disappointing day for me.
and also a very frustrating one. heard some stuff i dont wanna hear.

i imagine myself bumping into you on the streets. and i will punch you so damn hard. and i will keep punching you till you get so mad that you push me away. and i will be on the floor. crying. and i will regret all of that. because i know i'm worth so much more. i just dont know why i can still get affected after so fucking long and that is what makes me extremely pissed with myself.

"you don't love him anymore. you are just really hurt by what happened but it will get better"
Look in the mirror and say that 10 times.
if it doesnt work, say it 10 more times.
everyday after shower.
and thn it got better. and i stopped crying. and life got better.

but of course you wouldnt let me be happy.
you wouldnt keep to your end of the promise. (you nvr did anyway)
so you do things to make me feel like a fool.
and today i really did feel that way. and i hate you for that.
i hate it that you still lie.
i hate it that you're such a jerk.
i hate it that i have had to meet you.
i hate it that i fell in love with you.
and i hate it that i cant seem to escape hearing about you from people around me and none of it is something i would like to hear. none.

monster, stay away. stay away from my happiness.

" "

"its easier to love from afar"

how true. how very true.

Wanna be pretty pretty pretty

I can't sleep. Which rly sucks cause I intend to go swimming in the morn but it's alrdy morn right now and I'm so damn tired but I just can't sleep. And the part I hate the most abt this not being able to fall aslp thing is that I start to think abt the past. Prolly because of the song that was playing just now too. Damn it. I just wanna sleep. And be pretty. And be happy.

也许在

I like the shows in china. spent 2 hours in shang hai watching this singing show. this song got stuck in my head thereafter.